fuck your good and bad hair days
I have good and bad body days

I’ve been told this is all in my head
but it isn’t

I see myself change daily
my skin roams freely
my fingers lengthen
my thighs become thicker
body moving,
muscles turning,
curves curling
my clothes constantly hang differently
and some days my breast look amazing

on those days
I’ll wait that little bit extra in the morning to find my bra
so I can act all surprised when you come back
to the bedroom

but this blush isn’t just from the wine
I’m erratic, neurotic and impulsive
an innocent alcoholic
one party away from an intervention

or maybe I’m caught up in a white knight/ damsel complex
where I create my own distress

does saying this out loud take the mystery away?

because I want to buy up all the real estate on your lower lip
take down the for sale sign and put up my name and address
I’ll trace the excesses of your expressions by licking your laugh lines
you’re bones are made of banana bread
and other stuff that I rescue from my freezer
I’ll write a letter of your name on each of my fingers
and think about what I can do with that hand

maybe trace that hand over your changing body
finding fault lines
that rock me against your dusty shores
you’re new to me every time we meet
and I half expect to find your freckles in different places
I want to go on an expedition with your nomadic belly button
to find the lost treasures hidden behind your knee caps

because you, you’re kind of mythical
someone I can’t quite believe in
you make me want to get drunk and take my clothes off
you make me want to order in always
so we can make out on my couch
and play crib
and set things on fire
you make me want to quit my job
and learn to fly airplanes
so when you look up at the sky I’ll distract you from the stars
let’s find where the wild things went and not go there
because I like it here with you

you’ve got this thing about you

that makes me release extra endorphins or something
something I explain away with poorly understood science
and poorly understood ideas of love

but I like it that way
living like I’m standing on a water bed
perpetually off balance

and ready to fall on my knees in surrender
at any moment